Unfinished Ending Or Tragic Ending?

Years ago, I watched a movie that left me with a question—one I still haven’t quite answered. Which is better: an unfinished ending or a tragic one? I don’t remember the title of the movie. I tried searching for it, but nothing looked familiar but I think it was about a girl who dances ballet. It was popular on Netflix at the time, which is why I watched it, though I remember not particularly liking it but I liked parts of it especially the ending.

My memory is unreliable, so forgive me if I get the details wrong. What I remember at the end of the movie is this: two characters, standing at the edge of a building. They were torn between killing themselves or leaving to start a new life. The latter one was just what went in my mind haha. I was at the edge of my seat waiting for what’s gonna happen next. I’m also torn on which would be the best choice for them and for the movie as a whole. Then, just as it seemed they would step forward, the screen cut to black.

I felt relief as the ending credits rolled. A real, physical kind of relief, as if by cutting to black, the film had spared not just its characters but also me. Although it seems like they’re going to jump when the movie ended, it still leaves a possibility that they changed their minds and chose to live. The relief I felt back then after how the movie ended was my answer. I’d rather choose the unfinished ending than continue even if I knew that the ending will more likely be a tragedy. I’d rather not know than witness something tragic. For a movie I think it’s a good choice cause it leaves a room for interpretation and hope. You get to decide how the movie ends for you.

But is that the right choice? If you know—if you are 80% sure—that a story will end in tragedy, do you still want to watch it unfold? Or do you leave before it happens? Even now, I still wonder: am I being practical, or is it just avoidance? Is it better to know, even if it hurts? Or is it better to let the story remain unfinished, existing in the space where anything is still possible?

And if we apply it to life—would you pursue something you know won’t end well, or would you walk away and live with the weight of what-ifs?

Luck Conservation

Do you think that it’s possible to spend luck? While I was playing Love in Deepspace, I came across the fascinating concept of luck conservation, thanks to Xavier.

I looked into it more, and the idea is that luck can be used up or spent. Once you use it up, misfortunes starts happening. It’s like if you experienced a lot of good things in a row, you should be careful after that because the universe might send something to you to restore the balance. There’s even a name for that fear: Cherophobia. It’s the fear of being too happy because you believe something bad will follow. It’s like having trust issues whenever you feel extreme happiness. I used to feel and notice that when I go out with my friends. When I get back home, I’ll have this feeling of unease. I would prepare myself that something bad would happen and eventually something does goes wrong. But was it really bad luck, or was I just so convinced that happiness had consequences that I started looking for proof?

The thing is, luck conservation isn’t real, at least, not in the way we think. It’s a mindset, a superstition we convince ourselves of to maintain a sense of control. In believing in it and in trying to prepare for the worst, all we really do in the end is rob ourselves of the actual moment. We don’t allow ourselves to feel too happy because somewhere in the back of our minds, we’re already bracing for the bad things that might happen. We dull our own joy, as if keeping our happiness at a level will somehow prevent the universe from sending misfortunes our way. But the truth is, life doesn’t work that way. The good things don’t require bad things to follow. Sometimes, happiness is just happiness, and by constantly anticipating the worst, we end up missing the best parts of it. And what a waste that is.

Not Everything is Meant to Be Posted (Including This?)

Do you know that satisfying feeling when you discover a really good song that no one else knows? It’s like finding a hidden treasure that you just want to keep to yourself so you decided to not share the song with other people. That’s what they call gatekeeping. I think most people do that to protect the magic. Recently, I realized that it doesn’t just apply with songs. You can gatekeep yourself too. Turns out, I’ve already been doing it… though mostly out of laziness to post anything. But just this week, I decided that it’s time to fully commit to it. So, as step one of my self-gatekeeping journey, I made my Instagram private. HAHA.

We live in an era where oversharing is the norm. Every thought, every meal, every interesting life update was captured, documented and uploaded on social media for the world to see. It’s fun and a good way to record your memories and thoughts. But like anything in life, too much of it is never a good thing.

Every time I post, I catch myself overthinking something like if the caption sound weird or if people will find it funny or cringe. Before I know it, something as simple as sharing a photo turns into a mental dilemma about how I’ll be perceived. Aside from the risk of sharing a personal information that might land in the wrong hands, social media also has this weird way of making you feel like you’re curating a character instead of just being. The more I put out this polished version of myself, the more I feel like an imposter in my own life.

So, I’ve decided to gatekeep myself a little. Keep my life mine. You don’t have to share everything. If you also want to do the same, a simple way to start is to post on delay. Sometimes, you might even forget to post it and realize you didn’t need to share it in the first place. Be a little mysterious; you don’t have to share your every move. It makes life feel less performative, and honestly, there’s something nice about keeping parts of your life exclusive. 

Of course I’ll still post, but I don’t feel the pressure to reveal everything or think about other people’s opinion. Some things can stay personal. Maybe I’ll just share the random weird, stupid, or chaotic things instead.

Am I Overthinking or Did I Just Unlocked the Secrets of the Universe?

It’s scary how my brain sometimes loves to throw me into a full existential spiral especially before I go to sleep. I don’t know if this will make sense to anyone, but it made sense to me at the time, so here we go.

The other night, I found myself thinking about this theory I learned months ago. It’s a concept that says that if you want something badly, it might be because your future self already has it. Or if you feel drawn to a certain place, maybe it’s because you’ve been there or that it will have a big impact to you in the future.

A Japanese phrase captures something similar—Koi no Yokan. It describes the feeling you get when you meet someone and just know they’re going to be important in your life. Not in a love at first sight kind of way, but more like a this is going somewhere kind of way. Instead of an instant spark, it’s the quiet certainty that love will grow over time, which I think is really beautiful.

That made me wonder, what if our fate is already predetermined? Do we have no control over it? Or maybe we are just choosing from different versions of reality? It’s comforting to think that in some version of life, we already have everything we’ve ever wanted. Right? That the things we desire aren’t random.

If that’s true then that may also mean that time is not linear, that things has already happened, or maybe every moment is happening at the same time and we’re just experiencing it in a way that makes sense to us.

Despite that, I’d like to think that it’s still up to us to carve our own path. It’s still up to us to align our present timeline to that timeline where we have everything we’ve ever dreamed of. Our desires are just glimpses or messages from our future self guiding us to what’s possible.

Speaking of possibilities, let’s talk about Schrodinger’s cat. It’s an experiment where a cat is put in a box with a 50/50 chance of being dead or alive. The cat exists in two realities at once, dead and alive until you open the box. Only then does one possibility become real. That’s kind of how life works, right? There are countless possibilities and realities existing at the same time, but it can only become real the moment we make a choice or decide to align ourselves to it.

I really believe that if you act like you’re already the person you want to become, you start aligning with that version of yourself and that leads me to another concept I love: the Pygmalion Effect also known as the self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s basically the idea that whatever we believe becomes true because we subconsciously make it true with our actions or the energy we give out. For example, if you think that someone dislikes you, you might unconsciously act in a way around them that makes them eventually dislike you. Not because they ever did in the first place, but because you made it happen. It’s lowkey terrifying how much our thoughts can shape our reality.

If our thoughts hold that much power, we might as well just think about something good right? That reminded me of Carl Jung’s synchronicity. It is the idea that reality responds to our energy or inner world. Maybe there’s no such thing as coincidence. Maybe reality responds to us by reflecting back whatever energy we put into it even how small it is.

It’s kind of like the butterfly effect. The idea that even the tiniest action can set off a chain reaction that changes everything. Have you heard about a butterfly flapping its wings and somehow causing a hurricane? It sounds dramatic, but honestly, it makes sense. Life works the same way. Choices, even things that feel insignificant in the moment can add to something that may completely reshape our lives. That made me wonder how many small decisions changed the course of my life without me even realizing it. Even the tiniest decisions like taking risk, following a gut feeling or choosing kindness can create ripple effects far beyond what we can see in the moment.

The butterfly effect naturally lead my mind to another fascinating concept that has a ripple effect. It is called paying forward. I first learned about it from the book I recently read entitled A Culture of Happiness. It talks about generosity and how it creates happiness not just for others but for you too. Something as simple as paying for a stranger’s meal could start a chain reaction of kindness that eventually comes full circle. Unfortunately, negativity works the same way. Just as kindness multiplies, so does harm. The energy we put out into the world always finds its way back to us.

And that, of course, brings me to karma. What you put out into the world eventually comes back to you, even if it’s not immediate. A genuine act of kindness creates positive energy, while actions rooted in negativity bring consequences. And honestly, that’s why I don’t believe in revenge. People who act out of malice usually end up self-destructing on their own. Instead of wasting energy trying to “get even,” learn to transform the negativity into something positive or something meaningful. Use it as fuel to create, to grow and to build something good.

Maybe that’s the whole point of all of this—the universe isn’t just happening to us; it’s responding to us. Your thoughts shape your actions and your actions shape your reality. Every little thing you do matters and it all feeds back into the grand design of life and even the universe. And that is kind of insane! And here I am at 2 am on my bed, overthinking my entire existence instead of just going to sleep.