Chocolate Hills Aren’t Chocolate

My trip to the Chocolate Hills started with a very loooong drive from Panglao (where I was staying, btw). The road was zigzaggy, but the views along the way were beautiful. We passed rice fields, mountains and trees. And somehow, all of it made me feel so at peace.. Why is nature like that? Maybe green is just a relaxing color.

Is it real chocolate?

Oh, here’s a fun fact I picked up from our driver. Do you know why they’re called the Chocolate Hills? And no, it’s not because it’s made of chocolate or just because they’re brown. Like, obviously they’re brown, but that’s not the whole story. People didn’t just look at something brown and go, “Yup, lets call it chocolate.”

It turns out, when the grass on the hills dries during summer, they turn perfectly brown, and from above, they look like those chocolate kisses we used to eat as kids. There was this moment in history where someone once flew over in a helicopter and was like, “Whoa, this looks like chocolate!” And boom Chocolate Hills.

Unfortunately, I didn’t go during summer, so I didn’t get the full chocolate effect. Instead, I got… matcha hills. Still cute, just not edible.

It is made of dead corals

The driver hit us with another crazy fact: the hills are actually made of dead corals, which is why only grass grows on them. Like, you could try planting a tree, but it’s not gonna grow. Then he goes, “Oh, and the hills were shaped by waves because… they used to be underwater.” Um, WHAT?! 🤯 Can you even imagine? Sea creatures used to live there! These hills used to be an ocean floor?!

Now, back to my trip. The whole time on the way to the Chocolate Hills, I was crossing my fingers, hoping it wouldn’t rain. Guess what? It rained. Just like what my weather app said. And did I bring an umbrella? No.

Tikbalang in the hills

When we arrived, I tried borrowing an umbrella from this tiny office building at the drop-off point but there’s no extra umbrellas left. So, I’m sitting there in the waiting area, and someone goes, “May kinakasal sigurong tikbalang. Maaraw kanina bigla na lang umulan.” If I was a little kid, I would’ve turned white with fear and my heart race after hearing that.

Quick backstory: when I was a kid, people used to say if it’s sunny and then it suddenly rains or starts drizzling while the sun is still out, it means a tikbalang is getting married. This used to freak me out as a kid and give me a mini heart attack, but now that I think about it, why am I so scared of a tikbalang wedding. I mean, it sounds kinda romantic! Imagine the tikbalang saying, “To celebrate our love, let’s make it rain a little.” A little dramatic, but honestly, who doesn’t love a good dramatic wedding moment?

Anyway, I decided to buy a hat from the souvenir shop. And let me tell you, that hat was so cute. I also grabbed a fridge magnet for my mom because she loves those.

As if by magic, the rain stopped, and the sun came out. Hallelujah! I climbed up 214 steps (no I didn’t count) to get a better view of the hills. I managed to snap a few pics, though I really wished I had a better a camera with .5 settings.

After all that climbing, I grabbed a cold bottle of water from the air-conditioned resto nearby, which felt like stepping into heaven. Seriously, bless air-conditioning. So yeah, if you ever go to Bohol, you shouldn’t miss the Chocolate Hills. I’m already planning to go back in the summer just so I can finally see them in their full chocolatey glory.

Ubeco on a Rainy Afternoon

After surviving my long, chaotic journey to Bohol and sneaking in a much-needed nap, I found myself on a mission: find food that would save my life. Google Maps led me to Ubeco, a cozy-looking café with minimalist vibes and glowing reviews. It was just a 15-minute walk from my hotel, but because the universe decided to make it rain and I forgot to pack an umbrella I hopped on a tricycle instead.

There’s a tricycle outside the hotel so I asked the driver to take me to Ubeco. The fare was just PHP 30. The fare was only ₱30, and I ended up having the most unexpectedly wholesome conversation with him.

By the end of the ride, he handed me a calling card in case I needed a ride again. Sweetest gesture. I felt like I was collecting NPC allies on this trip.

The ambiance in Ubeco was good and relaxing. I ordered their teriyaki fried rice and a calamansi drink, which looked gorgeous in the photos.

The calamansi drink reminded me of my childhood because it tastes like “Celine” the vitamins my mother gave me when I was young. I have no idea if that’s how it’s supposed to taste. The teriyaki fried rice didn’t teriyaki, but my soul was fed anyway. After my starvation-induced state, that first bite was like a slice of heaven. The egg on top was perfect, and they were generous with the green beans. Like, a lot of green beans. I was starting to worry I’d turn into one if I kept going.

Bhe calamansi drink kind of clashed with the rice. I think the sweet-sour tang of it just overwhelmed the flavors. I started wondering if I accidentally sabotaged my own brunch.

I didn’t finish everything, so I asked for a takeout box—no way I was letting good food go to waste. Despite the weird combo, I’m actually craving that fried rice now. I’m even considering trying to make my own version at home. If I nail the recipe, I’ll be posting it here.

So, that was my adventure at Ubeco. Despite the rain, it turned out to be a good brunch experience. If you’re ever in Bohol and need a good spot to chill with some tasty (if slightly overpriced) food, Ubeco’s worth a visit. And who knows? Maybe I’ll master that teriyaki fried rice and impress everyone with my cooking skills. Stay tuned!

The Tuko At My Hotel In Bohol

For my Bohol stay, I booked Bassa Nova Villa, a Bali-inspired gem tucked away in Panglao Island. It looked aesthetic and spacious in the pictures. After the long trip I had from Manila to Cebu and then Cebu to Bohol, all I wanted was to collapse on the bed and reboot.

Fresh sheets

On my way to the hotel, I ended up being the navigator with Google Maps since the tricycle driver didn’t know where Bassa Nova Villa was, I guess because it was new. It felt like an eternity getting to Bassa Nova Villa. I started thinking maybe I should’ve just hopped on one of those Jeepney-style tricycles instead.

After an hour, we arrived. The hotel staff immediately helped me with my bags as I was going out of the tricycle. They gave me water and made me sit as they prepared my room. They then walked me to my room which is Room 10 on the 2nd floor. The room was huge and comfy, with two double beds and a nice balcony.

I immediately flopped onto the bed and was greeted by the coolest, most relaxing sheets ever. It felt like the bed was giving me a big, comforting hug which I deserved after everything I had just been through.

Bathroom Truths

Now, with the bathroom review. If you’re on the shorter side (like me), get ready for some serious tiptoeing to see yourself in the mirror. It’s a minor struggle, but a struggle nonetheless. Also, the bidet was a mystery I couldn’t solve. The shower was cold at first, but it did warm up after a bit which was totally fine because I quite enjoy chilly night showers.

The next morning, I had a tour pickup at 8:20 am. I didn’t notice the time slipping away, but thankfully, the staff knocked on my door to let me know someone was waiting outside.

My Last Night and a Tuko Twist

That evening, I stayed in and had dinner at the hotel’s restaurant.
I ordered Thai curry, and they even toned down the spice for me. It was flavorful, comforting, and just the right thing to end the day.

I wanted to explore more before checking out, but the rain had other plans. I didn’t get to swim in the pool, which was a bummer. But overall, the stay was really nice the staff were thoughtful, and the place had a great vibe. Then… the tuko happened.

Around midnight, I heard it that loud, echoing “TU-KO!” not once, not twice, but three times. I froze. My brain went straight to, “Is this the beginning of a horror movie?”
I genuinely thought some mythical creature was about to come for me.