2025 Playlist

“I can’t believe I never went on a date this year.” That was the very first sentence I wrote months ago, in the earliest draft of this post. Which is funny, because why did I write that? Why was that my opening thought?

At the beginning of the year, I gave myself about a million goals. Some were unrealistic, some I didn’t even like, and some I only wanted because they looked good on paper. I kept adding things to stay busy and kept multitasking so I wouldn’t have to think too hard about anything else.

This year, whenever something mildly inconvenient happened, my whole routine will collapse for a week. And I cried almost every month, only to realize it was just my period again. But also, there was so much happening this year, both locally and internationally, that made me feel sad and frustrated. I had to force myself to stay away from the internet because I was staying up late doomscrolling or mentally drafting responses to rage-bait posts. It was affecting me, draining my energy, and honestly, I feel small and it all felt really pointless.

Today I listened to this playlist again. The first song that caught me was Northern Star, and it made me smile. Sometimes in awe or nostalgia or bitterness. According to my Spotify Wrapped, my top song this year was Hozier’s cover of Do I Wanna Know. I listened to it 36 times… and then three more times after that.

Other songs that low-key defined my year: Jeff Buckley’s Mama, You Been on My Mind, Corsicana, and Andrew Bird’s Are You Serious. Selfless by The Strokes (first heard during a very late Spotify jam). Lover Boy by Sophie. Let Down 🥺. Nobody’s Son 💅. To The Wolves. All of them just quietly living in the background of my 2025.

And somewhere in all of this crying, chaos and endless scrolling, I somehow learned how to come back to myself, slowly and imperfectly. I learned how to feel everything without needing to escape it.