Paella-style skillet

I wanted to make paella and this is the closest I can get. It tastes different from what I’m used to, but in a good way.

While eating, I had a life-changing realization. What if I never really hated tomatoes as a child? I think I spent years holding a grudge against tomatoes and after eating this. I feel like I need to apologize to a tomato.

And when I add the romesco sauce 🥹… It tastes a little too healthy for someone with my background, but we’re evolving.

Ingredients

Instructions

1. Romesco sauce: Place the tomato halves cut side down in a hot dry pan or under the broiler for 8 to 10 minutes, until blistered and soft. Add the peeled garlic for the last 3 to 4 minutes so it softens and toasts lightly.
2. Simmer the chopped carrot in water for 8 to 10 minutes until very soft. Drain well.
3. Blend the tomatoes (skins and all), carrot, garlic, pistachios, tomato paste, paprika, chili flakes, and lemon juice until mostly smooth. Stream in the olive oil while blending.
4. Taste before adding any salt, since the pistachios are salty. Add more lemon juice if flat, or a pinch of sugar if too tart. Let it sit for minutes so the flavors come together.
5. Paella-style skillet: Dissolve the stock cube in ¾ cup hot water and mix with the dashi granules
6. Heat the olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Cook the onion and garlic with a small pinch of salt for 4 to 5 minutes, until soft.
7. Add the chicken and paprika and cook 6 to 8 minutes, until browned.
8. Add tomatoes and turmeric. Stir in and cook 3 to 4 minutes, until jammy.
9. Pour in the dashi and stock mixture and simmer 4 to 6 minutes, until the chicken is cooked through and the liquid is reduced to a thick sauce.
10. Add the rice. Break up clumps, fold it in gently, and spread it evenly. Heat through for 2 minutes, adding a splash of water or stock if it looks dry.
11. Press the rice down and leave it undisturbed on medium-high for 3 to 4 minutes, until it crackles and the bottom turns golden.
12. Add the shrimp. Tuck them into the rice, cover, and cook 3 to 4 minutes, until pink and just cooked through.
13. Taste, adjust the salt, and top with parsley and romesco.

Where do I start? Where Do You End?

Lovely love,

When you’re gone, I feel like I forget how to breathe. Dramatic, I know but sometimes it really does feel like I’m dying a little, and I suppose that’s the problem with loving something. You become aware of all the ways you could lose it.

I’m too paranoid for someone who loves this much. And then you’re here, and suddenly my heart is doing something ridiculous. It feels too big for my body, like all this love has nowhere to go except everywhere.

This playlist is what that feels like to me. That particular kind of happiness that almost hurts. Like your heart is so full it might actually burst.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

I made this playlist years ago, before I had you to give it to. I think my older sisters were getting married around that time, and I was collecting songs I imagined would be good for my own wedding someday. I was probably sitting there romanticizing a love I had never really known, trying to imagine what it would feel like to belong to someone in that way. Hahaha. The things we do when we’re young and in love with the idea of being in love.

And now I’m listening to it again, except this time there’s you.

It’s a strange thing, isn’t it? To make something for a person you haven’t met yet and then, one day, find yourself wanting to give it to someone real.

I wanted to feel your love as much as I want to make you feel mine. I want to know you on the days when you don’t feel particularly lovable. I want you to know that I’m here.

Even when the world seems to have turned against you, even when you don’t know what to do with yourself, even when you can’t quite find the words for whatever is happening inside you.

If there’s one thing I want you to know, it’s that we don’t have to figure out what hasn’t happened yet.

I keep reminding myself of that too. We don’t have to solve every possible future before we get to live in the present. We don’t have to know exactly how everything will turn out. There are so many things in this world that we cannot control, and I have spent an unreasonable amount of time trying to make peace with things that haven’t even happened honestly.

But after meeting you, my heart can rest a little knowing that it has found you. Knowing that you’ve changed my world in different ways. You’ve made it warmer and more comfortable to be in. I don’t mean that everything is suddenly perfect. I mean that the world feels a little less frightening when I remember that you’re in it, and that somewhere in this enormous, confusing place, there is a person I love.

Waaah. I’m listening to Out of My League by Stephen Speaks right now, and I suddenly want to learn it on the piano. Along with Für Elise and the Swan Lake by Tchaikovsky.

We do live in such extraordinary times. Sometimes I look at the world and wonder how anyone manages to wake up every morning and go about their business as if everything isn’t a little absurd. There’s so much uncertainty, so much ugliness, so much to be afraid of. I don’t want to spend my life bracing myself for the worst thing that could happen.

I want to face the world with love instead.

Somehow, loving you makes that feel a little easier. You remind me that there are still things worth being soft for. That even in a world that can be so indifferent to us, we can still make something beautiful between two people. We can still be kind. We can still make a life that feels like our own.

And then You Belong to Me, the Carla Bruni version, comes on.

I swear, some songs make me want to do absolutely nothing except lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I think the best way to listen to music is through a speaker loud enough to fill a room or through earphones.

Do you remember that feeling after watching the Titanic movie for the first time? That sudden, almost unreasonable desire to love someone so completely that you would be willing to sacrifice everything for them. To have a love so enormous that it makes the rest of the world seem small for a moment. I don’t know if it’s the film or the music or the fact that we’re all a little susceptible to grand gestures when we’re young, but I remember that feeling. Wanting to find someone who would make the whole thing feel possible.

Listening to this playlist feels a little like that.

Except now, instead of imagining some distant, impossible love, I find myself thinking of you.

And I think that’s why listening to these songs has felt so cleansing. It’s like I’ve been carrying all this love around inside me without quite knowing where to put it, and for a little while, the music gives it somewhere to go.

I don’t know what the future holds for us but for now, I have this playlist. I have all these little thoughts that keep finding their way back to you, even when I’m supposed to be doing something else. And I have you, which is still a little unbelievable to me.

And if you ever wonder what I mean when I say I love you, I hope you remember this playlist.

Every song is another way of saying it.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Yours, unfortunately (for my sanity),

Amajoy ❤️‍🔥

Crispy Squid Recipe

If you love the crispy squid you find at Filipino street-food stalls, you’re going to want to try this one. 🦑 It has that golden, crunchy coating and savory, garlicky flavor that makes street-food squid so addictive, but you can easily make it at home with simple ingredients.

I came across the idea for this recipe on Instagram and decided to make my own version using what I had in my kitchen, including Magic Sarap for an extra savory kick. Serve it with your favorite dipping sauce and you’ve got a crispy little snack, appetizer, or ulam that tastes like a street-food favorite without having to leave the house.

Ingredients

Instructions

1. Use salt to rub the squid, then rinse well. Remove the innards, transparent cartilage, beak, and skin if you prefer. Pat very dry with paper towels—this helps the coating stick and prevents splattering.
2. Mix wet batter until you get a thick but pourable batter, roughly like pancake batter.
3. Mix dry mix ingredients
4. Dip squid into the wet batter then dry mix). (You may dip it into dry mix first then wet batter then dry mix too)
5. Fry in hot oil until golden and crisp usually only 1–2 minutes for small squid pieces (don’t overcook).
6. Drain on a wire rack or paper towel.
7. Taste and add a tiny sprinkle of salt if needed.

🍫 Brownies Recipe

I realized I can cook anything with just an airfryer and thought, can I make a brownie in airfryer? So I tried and its good and tasted like real brownie too even without the dark chocolate topping or peanut. While I’m eating this brownies I was thinking hmm this will definitely taste good with a vanilla ice cream or a bingsu. I was going for the fudgy, dense brownies, not cakey brownies with this one and if you want to make one like that too, you should try this one.

Ingredients

Instructions

1. Melt the butter.
2. Whisk the wet ingredients (white sugar, brown sugar, egg, vanilla, coffee, salt)
3. Slowly pour in the melted butter (cooled) while whisking until everything is well combined.
4. Add the cocoa and flour.
5. Pour into the pan or on a parchment paper in the airfryer.
6. Cover them with a DIY foil tent or metal plate (shaped to fit your air fryer) to prevent the tops from browning too quickly.
7. Air fry at 180°C for 7 minutes.
8. Carefully remove the foil cover, then continue cooking at 160°C for 3 minutes.
9. Leave them in the pan for at least 30 minutes before cutting. They’ll become much firmer and fudgier as they cool.

Gourmet Upgrade Pão de Queijo

I happened to see someone make this Brazilian cheese bread from a Reel, and it looked so delicious. She mentioned that she first tried it at a wedding, which immediately made me want to try it too. So I followed her recipe, but mine turned out really oily. I wonder why its different, maybe because I was using airfryer instead of an oven?

I decided to remake it, but this time I reduced the oil. Instead of using 3 tablespoons of oil and 2 tablespoons of butter, I used just 1 tablespoon of olive oil and 1 tablespoon of butter. I also added a little garlic powder and white pepper. You can skip these if you want it to taste more like the traditional one.

This version tasted 100% better than my first attempt and was much less oily! If you want to give it more of an artisanal bakery feel, feel free to add some chives, oregano, or Italian herbs. Feel free to improvise 😉

Ingredients

Instructions

1. Add the egg, milk, olive oil, melted butter, salt, white pepper and garlic powder to your blender. Blend for 10 seconds.
2. Add the tapioca flour. Blend on medium-high speed for 20–30 seconds until completely smooth. Scrape the sides with a spatula if needed.
3. Add the grated Pecorino and Mozzarella. Pulse 3–4 times just to fold the cheese into the batter.
4. Pour batter into the mini muffin cups. You can add a bit of oregano (taste like pizza)/ chives / italian herbs (earthy taste).
5. Let the pan sit on the counter for 5 minutes before putting it in the oven. This allows the tapioca starch to fully absorb the milk, eliminating any powdery or crumbly top layer.
6. Bake in Airfryer for 8-10 minutes in 180°C until the tops are puffed up and pale golden brown. 
7. Immediately transfer the rolls onto a plate lined with paper towels to absorb any surface moisture.