Hello!
How are you? Why does it feel like its been a long time since I last wrote to you?
I miss you.
I hope you’re doing well and having sweet dreams everyday.
I don’t wan’t to sound cliche, but life… is really a btch. Don’t you agree?
Thankfully I have this playlist to listen to everyday as I move forward with life and bare with you. I guess I’ll be carrying you with me for a while (or a long time).
With you in mind,
Belle
🥢 Chinese Crispy Beef Strips (Sweet & Tangy Takeout Style)
This dish reminded me of the one that I like eating during lunch in college.
300g beef, thinly sliced
1½ tsp soy sauce
4 tbsp cornstarch (more if needed for full coating)
Oil for frying
2 tbsp soy sauce
1½ tbsp sweet chili sauce
1½ tbsp white sugar
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp sugar cane vinegar
And that’s it! Eating this didn’t really brought back any memories from my college days hahah but it tastes really good. I don’t have the words to describe it.
Chinese Crispy Beef Strips Read More »
🍤 Creamy Tuscan-Style Shrimp (Rice Version)
Last month, I mentioned that I impulsively bought squid but I forgot to say that I also bought shrimp along with it. When I got home, I had no idea what to do with the shrimp. The only dishes I knew were garlic butter shrimp and tempura. But the last time I cooked garlic butter shrimp, it didn’t make me – 🥺 and tempura wasn’t something I loved.
So there I was, staring at 500 grams of shrimp that looked a little alive. Then I remembered a recipe link I once saw on Facebook where the comments were really good. I searched my history, and thankfully it was still there: Creamy Tuscan-Style Shrimp. Unfortunately, I didn’t have all the ingredients at home so I decided to experiment with what we have in our kitchen… and this is the version I came up with.
500 g shrimp, peeled and deveined
2 tbsp butter
1 tbsp olive oil
4 cloves garlic, minced
¼ cup chopped white onion (or minced)
1 tsp flour
½ cup water
1 tsp condensed milk
½ cup cheese, grated
½ tsp black pepper
¼ tsp dried basil
¼ tsp dried oregano
1 tsp soy sauce
½ tsp oyster sauce
1 tsp calamansi juice
It’s not the authentic Tuscan Style Shrimp but it turned out better than what I expected 🤍
Creamy Garlic Shrimp (Perfect With Rice) Read More »
While I was writing this post, I keep beating myself up and saying – this is not enlightening at all… and I’m very very sorry for my future self who will be reading this. I feel like she will despise me and I’m scared and worried if she’ll even exist in the future because what if I fail being her? What if I continued with what I’m doing right now and prevented myself of being her. What if I erase the version of me I’m supposed to grow into fu…(deletes the rest of the post)
I spent the whole night spiraling. When I closed my eyes, different scenarios, metaperceptions and the words that I want to say kept me up all night. Its like my mind is repeating it multiple times in my head so I won’t forget. Typing it doesn’t even help. Nothing helped. I can’t sleep, its too loud in here. I tried everything that had worked for me before, I tried listening to my sleep playlist, meditating, memorizing, reading, I listened to the Weightless album but nothing worked! Its like my mind is bullying me 😭. Insert Clubbed to death song here.
And almost like fate, I recently made a classical music playlist. I put together every classical music that is said to be good for brain creativity and brain function. Plus tracks that research suggests stimulate the mind. I listened to that playlist for 8 hours or more and I’m surprised by how it worked for me. I unkowingly put myself into an experiement.
By 11:30 am, I still haven’t slept at all but I feel stoic or something. Its like my mind just reset or I was posessed. Its not in an “I don’t care” way but its in like “its fine, I’ll just go through with it” way or “what am I overthinking about lol” way. For some reason, I feel energized even when I’ve been awake for more than 24 hours. I was able to do alot of productive things that I would normally feel tired or lazy doing like doing my laundry and cleaning my room etc. I was also able to go to work for 8 hours and after that I still feel energized to stay awake for 3 more hours. I’m like, where did all that energy came from?
The next day, I searched if its normal to feel energized after listening to classical music with no sleep. Apparently, there’s a documented phenomenon called the “Mozart effect.” It’s described as a kind of musical arousal or a dopamine spike triggered by complex auditory patterns. Some studies suggest classical music can lower cortisol and activate reward centers in the brain, increasing focus and creating a natural high. I feel like I was emotionally regulated by this playlist.
And here I heard some people say to not listen to classical music because it will make you feel sad and depressed. That’s not universally true. Not all classical music carries the same emotional weight and I guess I proved that to myself. I even found myself dancing a little to some of these songs. Anyway, here’s the playlist that saved me (sleep is still important though 😘):
My girl can’t be left alone with her own mind Read More »
🌿 Thai Basil Beef
The week after I got home from Thailand, I couldn’t stop thinking about Thai basil beef, so I had to recreate it. I needed my family to taste it too, because I refuse to walk around haunted by this flavor by myself. Here’s the version I made. The ingredients are easy to find in the Philippines, and somehow it tastes authentic and restaurant-level… at least if my taste buds aren’t lying, hahah.
400g ground beef or thinly sliced beef sirloin
1 medium onion, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 siling labuyo, chopped (or 2 tsp chili oil)
1 red bell pepper, thin strips (optional)
1 cup fresh basil (loose)
2 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp fish sauce (patis)
1 tbsp oyster sauce
1½ tsp brown sugar
2 tbsp water
Lime or calamansi for finishing (just a squeeze)
Serve it over hot rice + a fried egg on top. You may also squeeze a bit of calamansi too. Its soooo addicting. 🍳🔥
Pad Krapow Inspired Recipe Read More »
Hi,
I hope you’re okay.
Me, I’m feeling… not exactly sad… it’s more like a jenesequa kind of sadness.
I really don’t like it when I share anything about my love life or personal life here so I try my best to be vague. But this felt relevant and I like writing about something from the past. Hopefully, this is the last personal thing I’ll write for a while.
Its true… The saying where they say if you feel that much love or pain towards the wrong person, what more would you feel towards the right one? I used to think that love can get used up, that if you give it all to the wrong person, there’d be nothing left when the right one finally came along. The truth is we have infinite amount of love to give. It doesn’t run out and limiting the amount of love you give just because of fear of it running out or fear of being too much is a sad way to live. And I had to learn that the long way.
Which brings me here. Falling so deep in love and getting my heart broken so bad was in my bucket list (I guess that’s my way of convincing myself to not be afriad of getting my heart broken before), but so far, I hadn’t crossed it yet. I thought I did before, but its just limerence. Heartbreak does strange things to you. You try new things, go to unfamiliar places, reply to messages you’d normally ignore because once your heart is broken, the fear kind of disappears. Compared to a broken heart, what else could really hurt more right?
The strange thing is you feel this pain because of love. Its just too illogical…love. Scratch that, limerence. Either way, its illogical. You’re blinded by it, and the only way out seems to be hate… but you can’t hate them. You can’t because you make up excuses or keep making sense of what they did even though its not really making any sense. You force yourself to understand because you can’t let go. Eventually, the frustration has nowhere to go, so it spills and suddenly, you’re mad at everyone. Especially men.
A small confession: what helped me the most was listening to Wizardliz. I listened to all of her videos. Seriously. Sometimes you just need to cringe at yourself. Be embarrassed and feel disgusted to see it with clarity.
That’s enough oversharing. This isn’t really a heartbreak playlist (I made a different one for that). Its for when you want to cry or when you’re self blaming and maybe wanted to romanticize it just to survive it.
With tears in my eyes,
Belle
🦑 Mild Ojingeo Bokkeum
At the start of the week, I went to a wet market and impulsively bought 500 grams of squid. I still don’t know what I’m going to cook with it. I told myself I’d probably just turn it into calamares. While scrolling online I came across Ojingeo Bokkeum and it looked delicious except that its spicy. And I am not built for spice. So I decided to tweak the recipe a little and make one with the ingredients I have at home.
While I’m cooking this dish I was a little worried that I will overcook the squid and make it rubbery because thickenning the sauce is kind of tricky as the squid was releasing water. Thankfully it turned out amazing though I’m not sure if it tasted close to the original lol. It tastes new to me but its so good paired with rice 🥹🍚
500 g squid
1 white onion, sliced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp sesame oil
Sesame seeds, for garnish
For the sauce:
2 tbsp soy sauce
1 tbsp oyster sauce
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp chili oil
Black pepper, to taste
You can also toss in some carrots and cabbage before adding the squid if you want to add extra crunch and sweetness. Finish it off with scallions as a garnish for a fresh, bright touch 👩🍳🌿
My Not-Too-Spicy Squid Stir-Fry Read More »
My Tangled Moment in Chiang Mai
I’ve always wanted to see floating lanterns in person like the one in the movie Tangled. I honestly never thought I’d get the chance. The last time I searched about it (6 years ago), the travel was hard and I was very specific about one thing: if I was going to see the lanterns, it had to be thousands of them released at the same time. Which meant Yi Peng Festival in Chiang Mai or nothing. Fast forward to last year, I found myself in Chiang Mai… not only watching the lanterns float, but flying one on my own. It still feels unreal when I think about it.
Traditionally, releasing a lantern is about letting go of bad luck, worries, things that weigh you down and welcoming clarity, good fortune, and new beginnings. You’re supposed to make a quiet wish as it rises, like you’re sending something heavy away and trusting the sky to take it.
Did I know any of this beforehand? Absolutely not. I didn’t research the meaning or cultural significance at all until I arrived to Thailand. My inner child had one goal and one goal only: to see glowing things float in the sky. That was the whole plan.
As expected, there’s alot of people. Its usually hard to romanticize things or connect to a place or an experience when there’s alot of people around (for me). But I still tried. I wandered around the venue, looked through booths, searched for souvenirs, tried to feel something.
There was a section where you could learn how to make Krathongs and other handmade stuff, but it was always full. There’s also a part where you can get a massage but the line is also long so I just looked through stores that sells handmade crafts and other things. There’s this one store that sells handmade notebooks and I found a notebook that is really good, like the moment I saw it my eyes instantly twinkled. I bought one for my sister and one extra because I really like the design.
When I think I may have seen all the corners of the venue, I walked towards the food area and found the place where people float Loy Krathongs. I tried floating one myself. I’m still not entirely sure if the river was real or man-made. At the end of it, you can see where all the Krathongs went.
Around 4pm I went to the food area. There’s only few people there yet. I tried almost every food there. My favorites were the Thai basil stir-fry and som tam. I loved the basil stir-fry so much that I tried to recreate it at home. There’s also a donut-looking dessert that tasted like a mix of pilipit or buchi buchi, its weirdly comforting and familiar.
After eating and resting, I walked around again. By then it was night, the lights were on and everything looked aggressively IG-able.
Then an announcement played, telling everyone to go to their seats because the program was about to start. At the beginning of the program, I suddenly felt like crying because of the sound. Its sad and it also made me feel nostalgic in a way that I couldn’t explain. I think they played that sound because they’re mourning the death of Queen Sirikit. It completely caught me off guard. My throat tightened, my eyes filled up, and I was sitting there, asking myself, why am I emotional right now?
Flying a lantern is way harder than it looks, by the way. I thought it would be easy. When I tried lighting mine, the paper in the middle burned up and I panicked because I thought I ruined it. I wondered if I’ll be able to light the lantern up after that. I was so focused in trying to light the lantern and then on my peripheral vison I saw lanterns rising to the sky all at once and my brain just buffered. It didn’t look real. I remember thinking:
What is that floating thing that looks so beautiful?
I audibly gasped. Its one thing to see the lanterns in pictures or videos and another to see it in real life. It doesn’t even come close. Its so magical. It made me stop trying to light my lantern and I just stood there watching. I thought, I don’t even need to fly mine. I just want to be here and enjoy the moment. Everyone around me was staring at the sky in complete awe too, and for some reason that made me even happier.
In the end I still tried to light up my lanterns. Its big and its two lanterns. I still can’t believe I was able to flew the lanterns by myself. This might sound small, but it felt huge to me. I’m officially counting it as one of my greatest achievements HAHAH.
As I watched my lantern float to the sky I thought about my wish and the things I wanted to let go of. I can’t remember exactly what I wished that night but I hope it does come true.
If you’re planning to go to Yi Peng Festival in Chiang Mai, here are the things I wish I knew before going:
My Tangled Moment in Chiang Mai Read More »
Hi!!
Happy New Yearrrrr! 🎆🎉 (can you feel how I’m vibing through all these r’s?)
I wanted to start this year happy, so I’m sharing this playlist with you. It is made up of songs that made me feel giddy.
How did your first day of the year go?
I’ve always wanted to start the year right… but sometimes you can’t just make yourself feel better when you’re not, like how I felt last year. But for the first time in a while, this New Year didn’t feel sad. Maybe because I was doing alot of other things and being surrounded by people I love that I didn’t even have the time to feel sad.
The best part of today was just hanging out with my sisters, like years ago before life got busy. Just sitting together, talking and doing nothing. It felt really nice. It made me think that maybe its true, the one that I see people saying online about 2026 being 2016.
I hope your year started off right too. I still think that the best time to end anything is at the end of the year. You leave things there and don’t drag them into January. Endings don’t always have to be heavy or sad. Sometimes they’re quiet and peaceful.
Anyway, here’s to starting again. Hope this playlist keeps you company at the start of the year.
– Belle 🥳
Books I’ve Read In 2025
I didn’t read much this year but I tried to read atleast one scene per day.
I got this book from a book fair. Its fun to read. Reminds me of Jojo’s bizzare adventures world. But the ending…
If someone asks me for a self-help/ leadership/ business/ relationships/ wellness book I’ll definitely recommend this to them!
Another good person encountering misfortunes and unfair situations like in Candide. I think what this book wanted to show is that all the suffering you experienced will make sense in the end while Candide shows that life doesn’t have to make sense, you just have to live it.
This one I read was in a dialogue style format. This one’s about how love conquers all if I remember it correctly. I think it shows that the society is unfair and people can change that.
I read this in just one sitting and I love reading it. I can relate to some poems. The poems are intimate and emotional and beautiful and fragile. Its about toxic relationship, heartbreak and healing.
It has a vampire like elements but is not like the traditional vampire romance books. Reading this made me want to visit Prague and see the Charles Bridge and Old Town Hall.
I read this from April until the end of the year. It starts slow. I honestly wasn’t sure which side to pick at first. I was thinking maybe there will be a twist or something. On Robin’s first encounter with the Hermes society I was screaming because he helped them blindly. As I continued reading I started to like Griffin and then he died 😭. In the end I fully understood why sometimes the only language that those in power will understand is violence.
Books I’ve read in 2025 Read More »