I Took An MBTI Test Again

I took an MBTI test again. Not out of curiosity. Just one of those days where I felt a little detached from myself and wanted something to hold onto. What’s better than learning about yourself through a personality test?

This time, the result was ISTP-A (The Virtuoso)

Which is… interesting. Last year, I was an INFJ. Then INFP sometime mid-July. Now I’m here wondering if I’ve always been this person underneath. I attached below a screen capture of my result for you to compare.

Virtuosos are typically steady for a while, but then they suddenly get a burst of impulsive energy that makes them pursue new interests. They enjoy living in the present and don’t stress about the future. They’re always eager to try new activities and experiences. The thought of being stuck scares them the most. What matters most to Virtuosos is the freedom to explore, make their own plans, and control their own lives. These are just some of the few insights about Virtuosos I got from 16 personalities that I found relatable.

It’s funny how these tests try to map us. As if we can be simplified into four letters, when in reality we are made of seasons, spirals, contradictions. I don’t believe any test or chart can define what a person truly is. We change. We mirror. We react. We grow out of ourselves and back into new shapes all the time.

Maybe I’m all three types. Maybe none. Maybe we’re not meant to be one fixed thing.

I still like the quiet satisfaction of answering those oddly specific questions, though. There’s something about trying to understand yourself even if the results are temporary.

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Taylor Swift Eras Tour Movie

Hiii…

I just saw the Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour movie with a friend! She invited me and booked the tickets on the same day. Most of the seats were already taken, and the only one left was right at the front but we went the very next day anyway. It was abrupt, spontaneous, and honestly, I liked that about it.

I’m not really a Swiftie (or maybe I’m just in denial?), but lately, I’ve found myself enjoying more mainstream things like The Barbie Movie, for example.

It’s funny because I used to avoid anything popular on purpose. If something was trending or everyone loved it, I’d feel this urge to run in the opposite direction. I didn’t want to feel like I was part of the crowd. But then during the pandemic, I started noticing that a lot of the things I quietly liked became mainstream. Songs like Strawberry Blonde, aesthetics, moods, interests and it threw me off a bit. If the things I loved became popular… does that make me someone who likes mainstream things? Am I overthinking it? Probably.

Anyway, back to Taylor.

The movie felt like a concert and also like an extended soundtrip with hundreds of strangers who just happened to love the same songs. It was a shared moment, and something about that felt special.

What I appreciate about her music is how certain lines suddenly hit you. You catch yourself thinking, “Wait, I’ve felt that exact thing before.” Maybe it’s because someone did something to me that Taylor has written or will write about. It’s amazing how she captures heartbreak, nostalgia, anger, and longing, and turns them into art we can feel through.

My Tears Ricochet gave me chills. Shake It Off had everyone hyped. Every song felt like it could be my favorite, just depending on the mood.

So, I made a playlist of Taylor Swift songs I really loved this year. Some were new to me, some were familiar. Most of them hit a little too close to home. I also shuffled some of my favorite lines from her songs and made a Pinterest shuffle for it.

I hope you like it.

With love,
– Belle

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2022 Playlist

Helloooooooo!!!

I hope your day’s going well.

Here a playlist I made back in 2022. I’ve decided that from now on, I’ll make a playlist for every year. Just like a little time capsule for each season of my life.

In 2022, I learned how to be alone. Not just the physical kind, but the emotional kind. And honestly? It’s not as bad as I once thought.

I remember reading a quote before that said something like, “You’re born alone and you’ll die alone.” At the time, I liked it in a poetic kind of way, but I didn’t fully understand it. Now I think I do. I understand why a character would say something like that and mean it.

Sometimes I wonder if I really am meant to be alone. Maybe if I had just gone with the flow and stopped bending myself into shapes to keep people from leaving, I’d be alone by now. But maybe that wouldn’t be such a terrible thing after all.

I know I’ve said the word alone too many times already… but oh well. If I’m going to be alone, I might as well do cool things, go to beautiful places, and make the best playlists while I’m at it.

With love (and a little solitude),
– LonelyBelle

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Vecna Playlist

Hiii…

I made this playlist just in case Vecna (from Stranger Things) tries to take me hahah but honestly? I’d probably go with him willingly after finding out he’s played by Jamie 😳.

I’ve had a crush on him ever since I saw him in The Mortal Instruments. So if this is my “running up that hill” moment… I guess I’ll be vibing on the way out 🫠

– Belle

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Just Like Magic

Hi there,

Here’s my first playlist blog for the year 2022.

Since it’s a new year, I’m taking this as a chance for a fresh start. Last year… I’m not even sure what happened. All I know is that it wasn’t good. It was a mess. I was a mess.

But this year, I want to try something different. I want to cultivate self-worth, embrace self-love, and shift into a more positive mindset and then see where that takes me.

When I was younger, I used to imagine myself as characters from the books I’d read. I’d ask myself, “What would they do if they were me?” It helped me get through difficult moments. It was easier to take action when I could borrow the bravery or clarity of a fictional character who always seemed to know what to do.

There were traits these characters had that I wished I had like confidence, boldness, self-esteem. Traits that don’t just appear with the snap of a finger. Now that I’m older, I’ve been thinking more about the idea of a “highest self.” It’s not exactly a fictional character, but not quite real yet either. Just a version of me in the future, if things go well.

So, I made a playlist that reflects the energy of that version of me. The one I’m slowly becoming. The one I’m manifesting. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope it brings you a little closer to your own highest self too.

With love,
– Belle

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2021 Playlist

Hello there,

We’re nearing the end of the year.

This year started out okay for me, even brightly. Then a full-blown high. And now? It’s dropped. Hard.

It’s made me wonder… Is there a thin line between happiness and rage? Because lately, I’ve been dancing on that line more often than I’d like.

I’ve been feeling rage but it’s not the dramatic, screaming kind. It’s the quiet burn that disappears before anyone even notices. It fizzles so fast that I’m only left with the guilt like an aftertaste.

Unrelated, but I’ll leave you with something I’ve been circling around lately:

Love isn’t supposed to feel like a chore, a burden, or an obligation.

And yet… this year, I was lucky to feel a sweet kind of love. Like honey. But why does it still feel heavy on my chest?

…Maybe I’m just a mosquito?

With conflicted feelings,
– Belle

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Novacain

Dear You,

It’s October 31.

The last day of the month… so Happy (Hollow)Halloween?

Lately, I’ve found myself wondering:

What if I could feel nothing at all?

No pain, no sadness, no anger.

But if I felt nothing… would I still be alive?

Living means feeling everything at once.

And maybe we need grief in order to recognize joy.

Maybe the hard moments are what sharpen the beautiful ones, making them feel real.

I like to think that sorrow teaches us how to hold happiness more gently when it finally arrives.

P.S. I made a playlist to recreate the sensation of Novacain through songs. A little emotional anesthesia.

If you have time, I’d love for you to listen.

With care,
– Belle

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Maybe I want a love that consumes

Hi… something strange happened today 🦇

I hit shuffle on my saved songs… and suddenly, I was 15 again.

Back then, I had just finished reading The Vampire Diaries series and was completely, tragically in love with Damon Salvatore. That deep, soul-crushing kind of love for someone who didn’t even exist 😭

These were the songs I listened to during that era.

I remembered the silly things I did like tying my hair up to show off my neck, hoping a vampire would notice. I’d leave my window open at night, fully believing he might appear.

Who hasn’t fantasized about a dangerously charming vampire falling for them?

One who’s sarcastic, bad in the best way, and would literally love you forever?

Anywayyy… here’s the playlist. A portal to my teenage fever dream.

I hope it reminds you of something too 💘

P.S. If you’re a Delena fan and haven’t read the book, Read Shadow Souls… you’re welcome.

With eternal love,
– Belle

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Coronavirus Playlist – 2020

Hi, I hope you’re doing okay 🌫️

It’s wild to think that in 2021, the pandemic still feels so present.

Back in 2020, I created a playlist that sort of captured what that year felt like to me. These songs became my quiet soundtrack… something to play while looking out the window or lying still.

I thought I’d share it with you. Maybe it could bring you a sense of comfort?

🎧 Plug in your headphones, look up at the sky, and press play.

Stay safe!
-Belle

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Sad Music for Bad Days

Hi, it’s Belle again ☁️

Lately, I’ve been feeling a little… heavy. The kind of weight you can’t quite explain. Maybe it’s just the weather. Or maybe its my stupid hormones 🙃

But here’s something interesting I read:

Listening to sad music can actually help us process emotions in a healthy way.

It’s like giving your feelings a soft place to land. aaand negative times negative is positive right?

So I made a playlist. Its nothing too dramatic, just a space to breathe, cry a little, or simply stare at the ceiling (preferably while it’s raining).

I’m sharing it here in case you need it too.

-EmoBelle

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