Chocolate Hills Aren’t Chocolate
Okay, it’s almost that magical time of the year, so I think its mandatory for me to make a wishlist—here’s just a mix of stuff I might need, things I probably won’t buy (but want to), things that just look super cool, and things I already bought this year and am still completely obsessed with.
Is it real chocolate?
Oh, here’s a fun fact I picked up from our driver! Do you know why they’re called the Chocolate Hills? And no, it’s not because its made of chocolate or just because they’re brown. Like, obviously they’re brown, but that’s not the whole story. People didn’t just look at something brown and go, “Yup, that’s chocolate.” 😂
So apparently, the reason is way more specific. When you look at the hills from above, they look like little chocolate kisses — you know, like those sweets you used to love eating as a kid (and even now). There was this moment in history where someone in a helicopter looked down and thought, “Whoa, this looks like chocolate!” And boom — Chocolate Hills.
In the summer, the grass on the hills turns brown, and that’s when they actually look like chocolate. Sadly, I missed out on that because it wasn’t summer when I went. So, instead of chocolate hills, I got… green hills.
It is made of dead corals
The driver hit us with another crazy fact: the hills are actually made of dead corals, which is why only grass grows on them. Like, you could try planting a tree, but it’s not gonna grow. Then he goes, “Oh, and the hills were shaped by waves because… they used to be underwater.” Um, WHAT?! 🤯 Can you even imagine? Sea creatures used to live there! These hills used to be an ocean floor?!
Now, back to my trip. The whole time on the way to the Chocolate Hills, I was crossing my fingers, hoping it wouldn’t rain. But of course, it did. Exactly like what my magical weather app said — which I ignored by not bringing an umbrella or a hat.
Tikbalang in the hills
When we arrived, I tried borrowing an umbrella from this tiny office building at the drop-off point but there’s no extra umbrellas left. So, I’m sitting there in the waiting area, and someone goes, “May kinakasal sigurong tikbalang. Maaraw kanina bigla na lang umulan.” If I was a little kid, I would’ve turned white with fear and my heart race after hearing that.
Quick backstory: when I was a kid, people used to say if it’s sunny and then it suddenly rains or starts drizzling while the sun is still out, it means a tikbalang is getting married. This used to freak me out as a kid, but now that I think about it, why am I so scared of a tikbalang wedding. I mean, it sounds kinda romantic! Imagine the tikbalang saying, “To celebrate our love, let’s make it rain a little.” A little dramatic, but honestly, who doesn’t love a good dramatic wedding moment?
Anyway, since no umbrella was in my future, I decided to buy a hat from the souvenir shop. And let me tell you, that hat was so cute. I also grabbed a fridge magnet for my mom because she loves those.
As if by magic, the rain stopped, and the sun came out. Hallelujah! I climbed up 214 steps (no I didn’t count) to get a better view of the hills. They weren’t chocolate-colored, they were more like greenish-yellow, but the view was still chef’s kiss. I managed to snap a few pics, though I really wished I had a better a camera with .5 settings. Oh well.
After my mini hike, I bought some water from this air-conditioned restaurant nearby, which felt like heaven after all that walking or climbing. So yeah, if you ever go to Bohol, you shouldn’t miss the Chocolate Hills. I’m already planning to go back in the summer just so I can finally see them in their full chocolatey glory.