I Might Not Do Tarot Readings Again

Last December someone gifted me an adventure time tarot deck and I was happy and excited to use it. That same person was also the first one I ever read for. Though I didn’t really did well since I don’t know the cards well but I know the Adventure time characters so I could guess what each card meant based on the characters or what they’re doing. Weird thing is, before I met with that person, I had a bad dream and what’s even more crazy is something bad did happen a week before that to them. I don’t know if it had some significance or it was just something that happens.

After that, I kept reading for myself. Whenever I have a question, I’d shuffle the deck, pull a card, Google the meaning, and just… interpret. It’s nothing new to me though. Even before, I used to listen to card readings on YouTube which sometimes are accurate. Too accurate sometimes it even made me believe that a certain person was my soulmate. But the truth is when you’re with an avoidant person, you look for a reason to hold on to it even if it’s not based on any kind of reality. I realized that after being in a secure relationship. When I’m in a secure relationship, it’s just enough for me to know that we both love each other.

When something’s bugging my mind, I just ask and look at the tarot reading. It’s now much easier to do too because I can just tell Ai about the cards I picked and tell me what it meant. Doing the reading kinda gave me peace of mind. Even though I know it is not real, it gave me a temporary answer and made me stop overthinking.

There’s one time when my cat got lost. I was so worried about my cat and can’t stop thinking about it that I did a reading. It turned out that my reading was correct. It says that my cat was in my neighbor and they were thinking twice whether they should keep it or not but I shouldn’t worry because soon the cat will be back and that’s literally what happened. My neighbor brought the cat back saying that they heard that my dad was looking for a cat. How accurate it was kind of freaked me out.

I also did a tarot reading for my younger sister and friend too. They told me the reading was accurate like when I mention about a person or a situation, they say it sounds like someone they knew or like how did it knew that this person is working at somewhere related to transportation?

Last night, I lost my cat again. I tried to search everywhere. I checked all the usual spots but nothing. His sibling seems to be looking for him as well and it made me worry even more. I shuffled my card and did a reading and it says that my cat might be farther than expected but safe and that it was being taken care of by someone young. The next day, I was preparing my food when I felt a cat between my feet, I looked down and saw the missing cat and realized that the cat was just inside our house the whole time.

That made me realize that the reading was wrong. I don’t know why, but it made me rethink everything. Not just that reading, but all of them. The way I put so much weight into the possibility that a card knew more than I did. The way I used tarot as a crutch when I could’ve just asked questions out loud to the person or to myself.

Maybe I won’t do tarot for a while or ever. Maybe I’ll sit with the discomfort instead of not having an answer. And maybe, not everything is supposed to be understood or known.