Thailand Trip That Got My Eye Twitching

I think every trip starts with a small sign that tells you how it’s going to go. I’m not sure what mine meant.

I almost forgot to wear my shoes before leaving the house. I was just wearing a crocs slipper as I left the front door. That’s what I’ll be wearing the whole trip if my father didn’t notice hahah. I had planned to leave at 1 PM, but I got worried it might rain hard, so I decided to leave early. Just as I was putting on my mismatched socks and shoes, it started raining. When I got to the bus terminal, the bus I needed leaves at 1 PM. Thankfully, I left home early! The bus window was clear. (I can’t remember why I wrote that last sentence in my notes app, maybe it felt important at the time lol)

I had a smooth flight on the way. During takeoff, Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs suddenly played in my earphones. AAAAAA. What timing 😭.

There’s also a weird coincidence. The woman I was sitting next to at the waiting area ended up being the same woman I sat next to on the plane. She kept coughing, and I remember thinking, maybe I’m meant to catch the flu on this trip. I didn’t.

The day I arrived in Chiang Mai felt surreal and I also feel a little out of place, maybe. I arrived at night. It was so dark outside or maybe it just looked that way because of the car tint. I sat in the backseat on the way to the hotel while a soft Thai song played. When I arrived, only a few lights were on. People were already sleeping.

Throughout the trip, I kept saying I’m feeling lazy. I just wanted to stay in the hotel and edit photos. But somehow, I’d still end up going out.

I kept pushing myself even when I was tired from the day before. I pushed myself to the limit that my right eye started twitching lol. The back of my left leg hurt too, which naturally led me to think: What if I go home crippled? I was getting paranoid I started worrying if I’ll get rhabdomyolysis from walking too much and die. My body is used to like… 500 steps a day (I work from home) and all of a sudden I’m walking 20k steps per day. I had so much energy to explore, but my body felt fragile. It felt like being trapped inside it.

Traveling solo also brought strange thoughts. I kept thinking, what if I suddenly go insane and started wandering through the streets. I laughed at myself, but the thought lingered.

There was one moment when my SIM card stopped working while I was on the train. I have two sims and both are not working! I bought the second one because the first is almost out of data. At first, I thought there was just no signal. But even when I reached Terminal 21, there was still no connection, no internet, no Google Maps. Strangely, I wasn’t panicking but I knew I would if it went on any longer. Thankfully, when I went to McDo it has free Wi-Fi. I could breathe again.

Still, there’s something satisfying about challenging yourself, thinking maybe you can navigate without Google Maps. When I was walking around Talad Noi and finding my way back on my own just by memory feels like a tiny achievement or getting a new skill. There’s also times when I unconciously dissociated while walking. It feels like teleporting. One second you’re here, then suddenly you’re somewhere else.

I actually hesitated about going inside temples in Thailand. They’re beautiful, but I was scared of doing something wrong or disrespectful and getting eternal bad luck. I remember as I was entering the temple with the Big Buddha, there’s a female tourist telling people to step over the door/the wooden thing at the entrance that is part of the door? I wasn’t going to step on it but I forgot about that. What if I was going to? That would’ve been it for me.

On the plane back home, I closed my eyes and saw the streets of Bangkok. It felt like a part of my soul was still walking there. Maybe it still is. And maybe that’s what travel does, it leaves parts of you behind, just to prove you were really there. Mine was very literal. I lost my bracelet somewhere and left my glasses at the hotel.